Chapter 5: Wilderness Survival

Those giant bears are definitely targeting me. This marks the fifth time in two months that I’ve landed in this dreadful bear-hunting situation.

Let’s just get it over with; I’m tired of running away. I threw caution to the wind, ready to confront the beast. Time to show you that even a “normal” person can make some progress before losing control!

I dodged the first two swipes from the grizzly bear and, in the fleeting moment before its roar, leapt high, aiming for its eye with my bone tip. A short, pitiful whimper replaced the mighty roar, and once again I was swatted to the ground like a pesky fly.

Is this the end? I assessed my injuries, thinking I’d soon be slipping into madness again. I need to keep my wits about me; I have to claim that bear hide!

My skin began to take on a pale blue hue, as if all my lifeblood were pooling in my eyes. My already reddish pupils now burned crimson, the whites stained a sinister shade of red, and two deep crimson lines, like dripping tears, carved down my face. My fingernails elongated and sharpened as I rose slowly to my feet, unleashing a terrifying sneer at the grizzly, reminiscent of a silver-haired demon under the silvery moonlight.

I did it! I finally stayed aware amidst this intense pain.

“Hahaha…”

But it hurts so much! The pain shows no sign of abating. Let’s just wrap this up quickly; who knows when I’ll lose consciousness again.

Easily slipping away from the bear’s claws, I slashed a gaping hole in its belly. The bear let out a cry of agony, unleashing flames more ferocious than any I had experienced before in its roar.

My attack was effective! First task: tear off a complete piece of its hide. I deftly dodged the bear’s fiery wrath, leaping onto its back, swinging the Ghoul’s Bone with all my might against its massive skull, interrupting its breath. As it staggered in pain, I swiftly turned to its flank, cutting away a large, intact section of skin, and with a sinister smirk, tossed the bloody trophy aside.

Just a little longer—I still need to figure out how the fire works… I thought, my consciousness slowly blurring.

Am I at my limit? My mind was once again dragged into the deep waters of pain and bloodlust, caught in a battle driven by instincts against the grizzly.

…

When the frenzy faded, only remnants of the grizzly remained surrounding me. I quietly watched my sharp claws retract into regular nails, sighed deeply, and made a mental note to uncover how this creature makes fire, steeling myself against the stench of blood.

But at least this time, I secured enough bear fur to make a decent cloak. I reassured myself as I picked up the bear hide I had cut before losing consciousness. Returning to my makeshift tree hollow, I took out the sharp antler of an adult rabbit to fine-tune the pelt, just enough to fashion some clothing for warmth and modesty. Pleased with myself, I draped the bear skin over my shoulders and habitually activated my Self-Identification skill.

In these past days, the only semblance of interaction I’ve had might as well be chatting with Self-Identification. Of course, it never replies, so it’s more like an advanced form of talking to myself. However, thanks to that cold, mechanical tone of the Self-Identification skill chattering away, I’ve managed to maintain a sliver of sanity in this endless struggle for survival. Gradually, the information from Self-Identification flowed into my mind.

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Race: Ghoul Half-Blood

Status: Frenzy – Curse of the Black Goat Calf, Logic – Infection of the White Spider Larva

Skills: Great Demon Tribe Language, Self-Identification, Frenzy – Demonization

Other: Ghoul Eater

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Hey, I’ve acquired a new skill! Looks like I’m making some progress after all. Mr. Self-Identification, what’s this Frenzy – Demonization?

“Active function of the Frenzy – Curse of the Black Goat Calf engaged, ability to enter a demonized state.”

So my effort to maintain awareness in a frenzied state has been recognized, and I’ve gained a new skill! So what exactly is demonization? Since it shows up in the Self-Identification skill bar, it should be explainable, right? I’m not trying to pull a fast one here!

“Certain ghoul types achieve a state of existence through specific means.”

What a vague explanation! So, that change in me when the grizzly attacked is a form of demonization, right? I must have seemed scarier than a demon in its eyes; calling it demonization certainly fits. Since it appears in my skills, I should be able to somewhat grasp the method of controlling demonization now. Great, let’s give it a shot! I’ll try demonization and then use Self-Identification to see what happens.

The trigger for my demonization seems to be pain. With that in mind, I grabbed the antler I had severed from the rabbit and stabbed it into my shoulder. Ouch, but is that enough? I stabbed again—OW, that hurts! But this time, I dove headfirst into the sea of pain and bloodlust.

Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill!

I’m gonna tear you apart! I retorted to the frenzied impulse boiling within me, regaining my wits. Hmm, I seem to maintain my rationality much better this time—probably because there’s no blood and guts around to stimulate me. I looked at my hands, which had morphed into claw-like appendages from the demonization, yet I’m still perfectly rational up to this point. Time for Self-Identification.

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Race: Ghoul Half-Blood

Status: Frenzy – Curse of the Black Goat Calf (Active), Logic – Infection of the White Spider Larva (Suppressed)

Skills: Great Demon Tribe Language, Self-Identification, Frenzy – Demonization

Other: Ghoul Eater

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Oh, this is different! Now the Frenzy – Curse of the Black Goat Calf is active, while the Logic – Infection of the White Spider Larva is suppressed. That means this demonization of mine is probably tied to that curse. So, what exactly is Frenzy? Since it also shows up in my skill bar, it should be able to tell me.

“Frenzy ability: Female ghoul half-blood’s rage, riot, and loss of rationality under the influence of primal bloodlust.”

Female? Ugh, why does the gender issue I least want to face keep popping up? Why is this body female anyway? It’s not too bad since I’m still a child, but what’s gonna happen when my secondary sexual characteristics kick in? How embarrassing! Boohoo, I need to pull myself together; it’s more important to keep investigating right now!

So, it’s a power exclusive to females? That’s why that Armored Man wanted to release the female ghoul half-blood. But I haven’t lost my rationality, have I? Looks like those three folks mistook me, but that’s fine. Who knows what kind of experiments I’d be subjected to if I were taken? I sighed quietly, imagining the unclear fate of the brothers who might get taken away.

Well, whatever! I can’t take this pain anymore, let’s wrap it up! I yanked the rabbit’s antler from my shoulder, and as the pain subsided, my body reverted back to human form. The wound healed quickly due to the effects of demonization.

Once I regained my form, I yawned, wrapping myself tightly in the bear pelt and began my midday nap. A little girl with red eyes enveloped in silvery bear fur probably looked more like a rabbit anyway, I thought absentmindedly, slowly drifting off into sleep. Sleep is absolutely essential for a child!